What Jesus Did for Her

By Kimberly Rae Thigpen

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” —Psalm 119:71

As a child, I loved reading biographies of great missionary heroes. I longed to live a life worthy of a biography someday, that people would look at my life and say, “Wow, look at what she did for Jesus.”

It sounded spiritual, but over these years of being shut down, God has shown me that my goal, at its heart, was about me. Look at what she did for Jesus. I wanted to do something worthy to prove I had worth. If I did something significant, then I was significant.

Those days in ICU, unable to accomplish anything of use, much less do all the things on the field I felt I should, God showed me I had just as much value and worth to Him there in that bed, hooked to all those tubes and machines, as I did scurrying around trying to prove myself. He wanted me to find my worth in Him, not in what I did for Him. 

Disease and continued illness has humbled me. Now, instead of burning out trying to make myself significant, God is asking me to represent those who cannot do all they’d like to do, but can still be radiant because they are looking to their Savior and are unashamed (Psalm 34:5). I don’t want to be sick, broken, in pain, but if I can live this message of hope and worth for God’s glory better as I am, then being broken is not only a gift but a high calling.

My goal has changed. I no longer want to get to the end of my life and have people say, “Wow, look at what she did for Jesus.” I want them to look and say, “Wow, look at what Jesus did for her.”